“Watch closely everyone, I’m going to show you how to kill a god”

To make sense of what, to many, is a nonsensical title, I watched Princess Mononoke two nights ago and I’m still just a lil’ bit obsessed. If you discount Pokemon, this is essentially only my second anime viewing and I’m still gagged at the levels of female power I witnessed. I mean sure, we had Mulan (the best of the Disney princesses, fight me I will die on this hill), but even she was conflicted by her love for crappy Li Shang. If you know the film (p. mononoke) you know exactly who I’m gagging over but for those who don’t her name is Lady Eboshi, and what a WOMAN. Seriously, she is portrayed as the bad guy throughout the film but is really; a courageous and respected leader; a brave fighter; a champion of the working class of her town; a supporter and teacher of both present and former female sex workers AND an advocate for the disabled lepers of her town, caring for them however she can. A god-damn feminist icon.

With the exception of Yakul ( the only redeemable male character is a giant male Elk no joke), the women herself.

I know I’m over exaggerating to an extent but I guess this 1997 film runs such a parallel to the weird relationship I’ve witnessed between Japan and it’s women so far. Before even arriving here I had been warned that up-skirting was a “big thing” and since arriving here I’ve unfortunately discovered the extent of Hentai, the schoolgirl craze, maid cafes and been followed by a… creepy man (shock).

In Akihabara we wandered several levels of an anime store and almost every portrayal of women was a mixture of sickening and disheartening. Barely-there bikinis and skirts, terrifyingly giant eyes and literally breasts made so uncomfortably big they look like abscesses. Some models were worse than others but all equally derogatory from my perspective. Don’t mock me, I knew Hentai existed but not on this level, fuck. What made matters worse was wandering these stores and noticing a) the high prices on these models (clearly sought after) b) the number of men openly and unashamedly ogling these and the hentai comics as I passed by (realising now that I probably looked like a freak too).

Later in Nara, Fraser and I spent the morning apart as I went in search of a cost-effective sake tasting. I highly recommend Harushika in Nara, a 30 min walk from the main station and 500yen (£3.50) will get you 6 free shots, some pickled goods and a free sake glass. Walking back to the park to meet Fraser afterwards felt like walking on a damn cloud. Rice balls are great for energy but evidently shite for soaking up alcohol. So when I found a free, open edo-period house to wander round en route, with a door you literally had to crawl through in order to enter part of the house, I began to register how tipsy I was. I must have sat (lay down) in that little room alone for about 20 minutes sobering myself for the rest of the walk but I left feeling much better. It was then, when I was more aware of my surroundings cutting through the market that I realised I had seen the face of this one guy too much. He’d originally been staring overtly at my boobs as I walked by and when I entered two different clothing shops to browse (clearly female orientated stores) I had exited to find him standing across from each store, meeting my eyes and following behind as I kept going. At this point I began to think about my outfit – a little red dress bc I was feeling confident and it was sunny – but had the sudden urge to punch myself square in the face because no outfit warranted this, I was clearly a tourist. I walked more hastily to the park than usual, turning to see this guy repeatedly until I lost myself in a group of tourists and deer. He finally fucked off, but immediately I began thinking about the shite influences on/of men here and how this clearly impacted women, myself included.

Abstractly, I admired the women I saw here on the daily; they were fashionable, they ran businesses, they carried themselves so confidently, it had been an empowering thing to see everyday – if not making me feel a little worse about my own sweaty outward appearance.

How could Japan produce the coolest feminist characters like Lady Eboshi and simultaneously bullshit hentai women. Was I victim of toxic male culture in Japan? Why was Japan so forward-thinking in some respects and so backward in others? – this is only the beginning recycling here is terrible.

I’m aware the western portrayal of women is still not fantastic. Just today Lady Hale, the senior-most female figure in UK Law was branded an ex-barmaid in the Daily Mail (rag) for helping further dismantle the tories. I guess I just had too idealistic a view before arriving here. There’s absolutely still work to be done with regards to feminism and respect for women in Japan, as with most places, but also I’m not about to waste anymore time clocking successes against the patriarchy here, sometimes women need to be the change they want. As such, I have yet to be dissuaded from wearing the little red dress and continue to carry myself confidently here. If I’m going to live my life like any character, I’ll be damned if its not Lady Eboshi (but again Yakul was also v commendable).