Vietnom x Vietnamess

My first full week in Vietnam is now complete.

Conclusion; HOLY HELL.

Japan was like a numbing agent for the rest of Asia, and that trip was only just beginning. For as long as I can recall I’ve wanted to go to Vietnam. Since my gran sat across from me in her little kitchen telling me stories about her time in Singapore in the 50’s (issues here bc it was under colonial rule); since I’d seen epic images of Ha Long Bay; since the insufferable Jeremy Clarkson drove the Hai Van Pass, and perhaps even more specifically watching the epic Ken Burns docu-series; The Vietnam War (the American War here). It’s incredible depiction of the gorgeousness of the country; the kindness of its people; the fusion of French food and architecture into its current style and then the cheapnessssss. I’d been sold for some time.

But after a month and a half in the cleanest, brightest, and most affluent place I’ve ever been to, Vietnam had stiff competition.

We rolled into the airport at about 3pm in the afternoon after a 2 hour delay and then waited for another hour at immigration to sort out our Visas, then hired a Grab – essentially the Vietnamese Uber but CHEAPER because the 50 minute trip from the airport to our hostel cost all of £3! We were staying in the old district, the epicentre of life and culture in Vietnam, and thus quickly met with our reality for the next few days:

1. Traffic on steroids. Automobiles everywhere. It’s the craziest thing to see a multitude of bikes and cars flying at you from both directions on the road and pavement – when its green man I will add – to then walk slowly into the road, letting them dodge you! We quickly learned that this was the way from watching others and the poor reactions to me just running across the road – seriously this really pissed people off – but in my defence it quite simply goes against personal nature to walk out into moving vehicles. I’m way better at it now but it still feels wrong.
   
2. BANH MI IS GOD. We were starving when we arrived so looked up our favourite travel prhase; “cheap eats near me” and thereafter fell into a little haven called An Cafe. To be clear a Banh Mi is a toasted french-style baguette with basically everything on the inside. These can be meaty or vegetarian/vegan (and thank fuck for this bc Japan was killing me a little), and finally CHEAP AS HELL. I paid 80p for mine and Fraser has since referred to his choice at An Cafe as “the best sandwich” he’s ever had. A full meal for two people with a side, a smoothie and 2 beers cost us just over £7!!!!
   
3. Hygiene here is a vietnamess – While waiting for Fraser to buy a grossly under priced shirt a little old lady lobbed her lunch leftovers onto the side of the street just close enough to decorate my new Tevas. If only she’d known the pain I’d endured trying to find these, that said I was the intruder and I was getting to experience her country for a ridiculously low cost. I could suck this one up. This however, was just one of many odd things we’ve noticed in the first few days. Hanoi was vibrant and bustling and finally felt like the Asia I’d seen on TV, but kids and the elderly dropped their breeks in the streets without cover and restaurants fell out of family living rooms onto the street. It was a lot to take in, and a hefty investment in hand gel – seriously worth it though bc most places here don’t have bathrooms or soap.

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Aside from these points, there’s a lot of activity to throw yourself into in Hanoi and as such it has ranked pretty high on my list of favourites. Trains are a big thing here, particularly the close proximity of these to housing and their influence by one Gustave Eiffel. Unknowingly we enjoyed an overpriced beer on the famous train street before it was closed for safety concerns just a few days later, please see images and guess why safety may have been a bit of an issue… We also walked along the Long Bien Bridge for a bit of fun and attended Ho Chi Minh’s Mausoleum after which I may have teared up a bit bc my “dark tourist” dream of seeing Ho’s preserved body was dashed by his annual trip to Russia for maintenance! Compounded with my first “rip-off” experience with a grab driver – we had an issue with the app which prevented payment and a guard at the mausoleum started banging his baton on the car, being threatening, so I panicked and threw the equivalent of £10 too much for the ride at him – I lost my composure and soured the day a little but a trip to the Binh Minh jazz club later that evening lifted my spirits nicely.

In addition to this I found one of my favourite activities during our time Hanoi was just wandering around the Hoan Kiem lake. Pretty during both the day and night, host to several points for cheap food and beer, and just generally the hub of activity in the Old Quarter – a stroll around the lake was never dull. But most importantly, the lake was free of vehicles on the weekends so for a short period of time I felt safeeeeeeeeee.

But the tides they do turn. Our little Air B&B room had been an issue from the start with the kitchen and bathroom sink pipes emptying out onto the literal floor, leading to some heated discussion between Fraser and I. Mainly me losing it because we had to fumble around and fabricate a situation with the floor flooding so we could cook some damn linguine – hanger in a nutshell. A few nights later however Fraser was in the process of calling his grandparents when he fell silent;

Fraser: “Katie, I don’t want to alarm you but there’s two big antenna wriggling out of that book behind you.”
Me: *turns rapidly towards the Vietnamese Dictionary on the shelf* “HOLY FUCK, THE SPRAY THE FUCKING SPRAY”.

We quickly planned to drop the book over the side of the shelf to get access to what we guessed was a roach and chaos ensued. This HUGE roach may as well have jumped out the book with a whole-ass human face because I screamed and in a flurry of banging, fumbling and spraying we disabled the thing. I know you’re probably thinking “aren’t you meant to be an aspiring vegan?” and indeed I am but damn, I have no explanation for this. Some things have to die.

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So this was the beginning of a new tumultuous chapter and one that involved a side of fame because within the first few hours of our first full day I’d been asked for photos with young girls on two occasions. I still don’t know what this is about and whether I should be flattered or offended but I’m rolling with it for now because heck, living finally feels cheap enough to really live – but within roach-lined reason.

I get the strong feeling that Vietnam will be a love-hate thing, wish me luck.